I’ve been this quiet meek and shy guy all my life
Never one to cause a stir
You can find me in the back row, hunkered down
Won’t raise my hand, no, not me, sir
I’ve justified it in a multitude of ways
To call it reticence sounds good
And understated and reserved, kind of uptown thing
But it’s still shyness in my hood
I’ve always thought that it was ground into my genes
That it was simply who I was
And that the spotlight was for smarter gifted folks
Forbidden turf there, just because
But what if all of that is balderdash at best
A rash of sales slick, crock of do
I suppose it might have been the salt air, the way it drew me toward the shore
Or maybe it was all that water, the way the sea calls out for more
Can’t say for certain what it was though, that took me deeper in myself
But there was something just so peaceful, the misty surf, the way I felt
Cause something touched me, way down below
Something took me to a place I didn’t know
And ya it warmed me, and I could tell
That there was fire there, but I knew it wasn’t hell
That beach town Galilee was home then, my little cottage by the sea
Even in the midst of great pain, O Lord,
I praise you for that which is
And I will not, no, I won’t refuse this grief
Or close myself to this anguish
Let other people, let them pray for ease
They say, Comfort us, shield us from sorrow
They say, Big guy, you know you got to fix my world
And don’t upset my applecart tomorrow
But me, I pray fro whatever you send
And I ask to receive it as your gift
Cause you have put a gold card joy inside of this heart
And all this weight upon my shoulders, it lifts
So I lie down at night and trust the dark
Cause I can feel how you are near
As I sit by this bay window, and watch the last leaves tumble down
A sugar maple in my backyard is about to shed her gown
North wind it’s whipping through the clearing, red sequins flutter in the air
But the fact she’s soon to be stark naked doesn’t seem to float a care
And so I’m taken by this beauty
Her standing tall and bold and bare
As though she’s saying…C’mon, bring it on, cold night air
Somehow it seems a tad ironic, her going naked toward the night
As if it’d make more sense to cloak her in warm armor for that fight
Found this backward sunburst guitar, must be twenty years ago
Dusty in a storefront window, man said, Used but good to go
Told him right then that I’d take it, not sure why I took that leap
See that was bold and out of character, and lefty Guilds ain’t cheap
But as I stood there by that old man
His eyes whispering, It’s you
Made no sense at all but…I just knew that I just knew
Well that old whisper, heard it often, and sure do wish that I could say
That I’ve spent my life in service to it, each and every day
I barely knew my grandpa, he died when I was young
He seemed a strict and cold man, I don’t recall much fun
But she revered her father, from that she’s never strayed
Never heard a harsh word, not to this day
The good book says to honor the ones who brought us here
So the way I had it figured, she must have done that out of fear
Fear that God might judge her, and smote her from above
It never crossed my mind she felt real love
But me, I have spoke harsh words, and flung them right at her
Forget the Ten Commandments, one mama’s boy astir
Charlize Theron, won’t you be my girl
Your name’s a twister but I’d give it a whirl
I know it sounds a little crazy and all
I’m 5’10” shrinking, you’re probably tall
But that’s no reason to be freezing out the possibility
Of a little cosmic magic between you and me
Charlize, I’m older, I won’t tell you no lie
I’m mostly bald and got these droopy sad eyes
But in this dream I had, well, we were a pair
Of star-crossed lovers with nary a care
And since I’ve learned to trust my dreams, well, what do you say
The shelf to my left now, maybe two feet away
Is holding the things that I’ve been waiting for all day
A green and blue notebook, a red and black pen
The notes I scribble down from my imaginary friend
Cause he says, just sit right down and let me do what I do
I’ll tell you things that you don’t even know you knew
See there’s nothing to worry, to vex or to fret
The demon’s staple tools to keep you neutral, hedge your bet
He likes you in neutral, on idle, on hold
It’s safe and dry and well-protected, so you’re told
I used to work with teenage kids, an English teacher then
We’d look inside Macbeth’s head for what turned him south and when
And why he killed the king, and about the point of no return
I wanted them to see themselves, to question and to learn
But in retrospect I can’t believe that I believed I knew
I was so far away from you
See I’d conjured up this theory, pulled it right out of the blue
All about this threshold to place of no undo
All about the breaking point beyond which there’s no way to turn around
Time to face the music, hear the silence or the sound
I love to wake up early morning
About five o’clock or even four
When there’s this surge of fresh excitement that runs through me
I just want to stretch the day and feel some more
A morning person, Oh not hardly
You see, I’ve never been this way
But that was then and now is now and I just cannot stay asleep
I want to greet each brand new day
Oh…look at what you’ve done to me, my friend
You’ve turned me all upside and down
I’m off to dreamland like a child by nine at night
And I’ve forgotten how to whine or even frown
That old grey crab tree in my back yard
If you ever go to Houston, you better walk right
You better not gamble, you better not fight
Cause the sheriff will arrest you, and the judge will send you down
And you can bet your bottom dollar, you’re penitentiary bound
Then you’ll wake up in the morning, hear the ding dong ring
They’ll march you to the table, see the same damn thing
Won’t be no food upon the table, won’t be no water in the pan
And if you say anything about it, you’ll be in trouble with the man
Where’s the Midnight Special, to shine its light on me
As I gaze into this mirror
See these lines that mark my face
They are the trenches of my war-zone
My embattled human space
All those nights that I have spent there
Closed my eyes but couldn’t sleep
And though I see now how I craved it
I just couldn’t even weep
And in those desperate darkest hours
With my cheek pressed against the mud
Well I’d have sworn the god of terror
Was about to swill my blood
But when I called out to the night air
When I stumbled to my knees
When I reached out there was someone
Who was there to hear my pleas
I used to have a big black lab, old Will was quite a dog
He traveled with me everywhere I went
He’d lay there in the truck front seat, his head upon my lap
And stare up at me like I was heaven-sent
Been dead for half a decade yet his scent, it lingers on
Still got those popcorn paws, it seems
And after spinning once or twice, that flop-down lazy sigh
Before he’d drift off into some contented dream
But he went home, ya he went home
Perhaps the place where it’s all doggie treats and bones
And I wish that he were here, but of two things I’m real clear
My daughter Sammie, she’s got the cutest smile ever made
My daughter Sammie, she’s got a smile made in the shade
And if you had a chance to meet her
If you had a chance to see
You’d be melting just like I do, the girl can grin and set you free
My daughter Sammie, she’s got crystal clear blue eyes
My daughter Sammie, she’s got eyes that don’t know lies
And when she’s giggly and excited
When she squeaks and leaps about
Those bright blue eyes can grow three sizes, makes my heart just want to shout
My daughter Sammie wants to know why Daddy’s gone
Woke up this morning on the bridge of this big boat
Some kind of steamship, paddle wheel, a whole town afloat
A throng of people milled that misty morning air
And I just gawked around, pretended not to stare
But the boss, he seeks me out and nudges me aside
Says I got a job for you, don’t you run and hide
Got this guitar on your shoulder, same as me
Now is there any place on this earth you’d rather be
Oh Boss Man, can this really all be true
Is this an invitation for me to play with you
Oh Boss Man, if it is then count me in
Cause I promised myself not to turn away again
When I was just a kid you know my parents used to take us to the station
We’d all pile into that old ’55 Chevy, head off to the station
Jump out of the car, Hey don’t run now toward those tracks
One hop to the platform, don’t step on any cracks
Oh I’d eat up all my dinner including lima beans to get down to that station
Cause there’s something about a kid and a big old steel train
It may be getting dark out and it could be pouring rain
But I’d died and gone to heaven when I saw that blue light coming toward my station
It’s been a year now since I backed out of the driveway, took my clothes down Highway 2
A muggy day that much I do recall, perhaps a little overcast with intermittent blue
I was in some kind of hurry to give myself a brand new start
So I just flipped the trip odometer to zero, sped away and clocked the distance from my heart
See I was darned if I would feel it, weren’t no point in going there
Thought the truth may be that I was so shut down by then that, well I really didn’t care
Out of sight might be out of mind, but it’s not like that with the heart
I’ve logged some miles, you know I’ve traveled around
I’ve seen the West Coast, I’ve been up it and down
Searched in its cities, ate in three Chinatowns
The food was fine, drank good wine
I tried on Texas, thought that cowboys were cool
Wore me a twenty-gallon hat by the pool
And boots with heels that made me trip like a fool
It wasn’t Zen, though I was taller then
So off to Paris for café au lait
Ran with the bulls along the Champs Ellysee
Which brought to life the better-dead Hemingway
Oh I was wrong, but the coffee was strong
I left you at the station, left you waiting on a train
I’ve turned and walked away so many different times
That I lost track of all my pain
Got my masters in departing, in packing up and heading south
I put so many miles between myself and me
That I’ve learned to live without
But without you just ain’t living
Ain’t no marrow in this bone
Without you ain’t forgiven
Without you I’m not home
You know just how to comfort, to gently speak what’s true
You know the way to penetrate a mind that keeps insisting
That the sky is only blue
Cheap motel window, winter’s day, the sun’s too bright
My daughter’s off awhile, draw the curtains, shade that light
No, that won’t do, see, that’s not really what I want
That’d be my age-old curse, the shut-up and the taunt
See the sky’s wide open now, just a cartooned cloud or two
That one could be a unicorn, there’s the old woman in her shoe
A sliver moon is just as faint as faint can be
Plenty close though, kids might even touch it from a tall tree
So now I’m thinking about a day we were spread out on the lawn
Sunday last I’m with my daughter on her bed
Motel sheets, it’s not her own
It’s just where we stay on weekends when I come
Two states and half a day away from home
I was Long John Silver swashbuckling about
Hardy harr and ho, ho, ho
We were Treasure Isle bound headed for that gold
She was laughing hard and then she spoke real low
Daddy, I wish that you lived with us
That was all she had to say
Those few words cut right into my soul
And now I swear this pain I feel might never go away
Then I pulled her close and kissed her on the cheek
EARLY SUNDAY MORNING
Early Sunday morning, I’m all alone
Somebody’s house here but it sure ain’t a home
Just this old melody spinning round my head
Blues and greens and yellows but not one speck of red
So where am I going when there’s no place left to go
Why am I thinking when there’s nothing to know
And who do I ask for when I get the nerve to call
The voice I hear’s inside my head, it’s nothing or it’s all
You tell me that it’s alright, whisper it’s OK
Implore me not to run and hide, to put down roots and stay
ANNIE
You say your name is Annie, and that you’d like to talk
About nothing in particular, you say let’s go outside
In this fresh air and take a walk
She says her name is Annie, that she wants to be with me
But I hear the gavel slamming down, the judge he’s in his old black robe
He squints, you’d better let it be
She says her name is Annie, you know I’ve seen her here before
There’s something pulling me toward her
In her loose-fit linen dress and deep blue eyes toward the door
She says her name is Annie, it sounds so innocent and true
MY OLD GOOD BUDDY TOM
We went out walking down the streets of my hometown
Me and my old good buddy, Tom
Toting our guitars, he had mine and I had his
He’d play a lick and I’d strum along
Think of a song, he said, and then I’d toss one out
And he’d just launch right in and play
Show me the chords and then he’d tell me what to sing
All in his gentle loving way
How could I ask for any more than this
How could I possibly want more
All in a dream, I got my hero by my side
I’m feeling blessed and that’s for sure
ALLIGATOR TEARS
My father’s birthday’s in September
Turns 80 first day of the fall
His health is hanging on, still got lots of kick
But that number, well, you wonder bout it all
Man there’s so much I want to tell you
I can’t imagine where to start
So I’ll just sit right here and let it all come out
God help me throw the valve that stops my heart
We walked a beach once, Carolina
It must be fifteen years ago
The gulls were squawking, it was windy, it was cold
You were speaking truths I didn’t want to know
I heard you harping bout decisions