Mandala of Belonging

Mandala of Belonging:

This mandala was drawn after a period of resistance to taking this work into my life more and to joining the NOE community from my heart instead of from a need for acceptance. Instead, I was complacent and happy to do my therapy and then go on my merry way, remaining as isolated and alone as ever. When NOE leaders asked for more help with media, research and writing about Archetypal Dreamwork to bring it into the world, I fought this with every ounce of ego I could muster.

My homework was to feel into my hesitation and desolation, this compartmentalization of the work, keeping it tightly locked up and not demanding anything of me outside of therapy. My resistance to joining community was so palpable I could feel it in my throat and my gut. Like the girl in the stock car, unwilling to surrender to a wild ride into the unknown, I braced myself in a protective stance, and tried to commit as little of my true self as possible. Then when I realized that what I was doing was no different than how I have operated my whole life (protect yourself, don't let anyone in, and by all means don't feel anything), I realized I had nothing to lose, I have been lost to my true feelings most of my life. In the center of the mandala is a bleeding, wounded girl, who is deepening her connection to her luminous self. The vertical black spears are taking this girl to heaven and to Hades, to feel the pain and the love. And the circles surrounding the inner circle are about fertility, potency, connecting to others, and losing oneself in service to community and belonging.