February, 2008 Spontaneous Combustions
~February 3, 2008
Underneath each way is another way.
Underneath
First and Last
Yours & Mine
Right & wrong
A kaleidoscope of options, vantage points modeled after Natural Law of Progressive Science. Progressive not meaning modern per se, though it is, but a rolling one thing from another; because of the first, the second occurs.
There is a great beauty and stability in this pattern akin to fractals in your environment. When a pattern is torn or interrupted it is akin to a derailed train. The tragedy here though, is it is unknown. Deeply felt, yet unknown. The mental way of the world as you know it doesn't experience the tear.
When pulsing, circling as your breath or as night follows the day, balance is restored.
***
~February 4, 2008
PROGRESSION is of Natural Law of Progressive Science. Yes, the pattern is heaven on earth. Growth of a tree, construction of a spider's web, a shell, your very own children - yourself. As friction inhibits gravity, any obstruction inhibits the pattern. Each (obstruction) wants more, gathers more of itself as it displaces, taking wholeness from both the physical and spiritual worlds. Reactions are both friction to gravity, and obstruction to progress of progressive patterning profound.
This gathering of force is like a run in a stocking or the quick increase to a tear to a spider's web. Repair is also part of the Natural law. Over & over relentless repairing, as the spider knows, without blame, without judgment. The woman with a ripped stocking often does both. (blame & judge) She needs loving instructions. She cannot hear, “it doesn't matter” at this stage. Or, that there is another stocking, another way even to dress. Tenacious to the old pattern holds one prisoner. Sadly, this is prison of choice. All earthly pain is due to inability to release.
Fancy woman, your silk stockings betray your progression. Feeling appropriate or beauty by this veneer of appropriate or beauty. A dress code from somewhere other than self. Spin around and around. Allow the spider to wrap you solid and still in His embrace. Pinned up on His pattern of Beauty within Natural law. He bites! He stings and you die only to emerge again as the reincarnation of who you first really were: Beauty's child. Barefoot, bold and becoming. Take the webs away from your eyes, and you will see. Take the webs out of your ears and you will hear our calling. Allow your tears to rejuvenate the Becoming, holy. Hear now and see:
Holy! Holy! Holy!
The whole earth is full of Glory.
***
~February 8, 2008
STAND BY ME
When the night is dark, and you cannot see,
Or you're bold, and your heart is full of glee,
Shed a tear, oh please, shed a tear.
Be afraid, and stand by Me.
It's a choice, always your choice, but I look upon your empty seat and wonder where you go when you know I stand by you.
I am behind you. All the time, and all the way today, tomorrow and yesterday. Always by your side. Now you choose. Will you stand by me? Will you shed a tear? As your world crumbles and falls, stand by me. As the river flows out to the sea - yeah, oh yeah stand by Me.
Me: Why are you using this song?
Because now you can feel the pull in the “I won't feel” of all the years you sang it that way. This is a powerful way for you to feel into the stubborn tenacity of your looking to another to not feel yourself.
As you sit in the train car of your present homework and vacillate between being alone, and sitting there with Me, use what you now know: your becoming.
Your becoming in ME. MINe.
***
~February 14, 2008
MORNING
Awaken to me now, rest complete and rest assured.
Simplicity beckons.
The evening star is within you.
The crow circles barking instructions for today.
Follow him.
Listen intently and do nothing.
Watch, listen, grow not grasp.
Waiting is precious and precarious.
Sifting, shifting. Slight adjusting here and there so the becoming solidifies.
We are working with you as you would a sculpture, mostly taking away.
All that is needed is already inside you.
Can you tolerate the brilliance? The diamondself.
***
~February 16, 2008
Resounding efforts rely on responding, constant responding, tuning, attuning attending…all to others, which often causes reactions.
Effortless, riding the train with Me requires only listening, relinquishing all else. Embrace the simplicity of the clickity-clack of the rails. Use sound to forego all else. Soothe the mind and become the rhythm itself; mesmerizing simplicity, like a lullaby.
And silence. In the deep silence you experienced just now outside in the dark of predawn you felt yourself, your edges, your aliveness, your container quieting. You're quieting. This is the new way we will work now with this writing, once you have awakened for the day. This was your original way. If we had not started in the middle of the night you would not trust the difference between the two.
And now you do. That's all. Nothing complex.
Lean on Me. Ride the rails.
Clickity-clack.
***
~February 17, 2008
Yes, And Yes!
The instructions and the becoming are to twine together. The separation of your voice or mine is supposed to candle, be luminous. Once you feel the constant Light, you will burn ever bright, and feel our constant support. The wick can not burn alone, nor can it even stand alone.
Yes, and yes. The other meaning of 'wick' is to soak up, and this We ask of you too. We have been asking you to combine physics. Why does that frighten you? If not physics We would use another unknown form for you.
Weather patterns
Bee colonies
Photosynthesis
We could list on and on. All have form and function We want you to weave through your soul becoming. Don't complicate the simple and the known.
The wild wind has always exhilarated you.
Honeybee fascinates and heals you.
Gardening surpassed your knowledge - and you certainly never questioned all you grew that more than flourished. You have put a layer of story onto physics that frightens you away. You would enjoy studying it, but we do not request or forbid it. It's not the point. The blinding fear is.
How do I combat this fear?
By softening into it. Put down your sword and open your arms. Feel into how you just were with soil and plants.
Yes, And Yes! See how very quickly doubt and ridicule, pathology's fear grasp, keep you from becoming. Story enters in led by the Hopping Toad. And, true fact, is it not, of course you know and live these forces of friction blocking your becoming. This fear, this very conversation is a weaving of the forces of physics!
LOVE YOUR FEAR, IT TENDERIZES YOU.
***
~February 19, 2008
Last night's dream was to anchor the calm within the expectancy of being a student.
To deepen the sensation of relaxation within the immediacy,
Yes, and fun too.
Yes, We just gave you the thought that Rodin's sculpture 'Thinker' may, in fact, be a man doing his homework! Call it Rodin's “Dreamer” and use it if it helps anchor you deeper still with us. Yes, “still” as in quiet. A deeper well within. This sculpture has NEVER changed - Can you you be with head bent all the time, that is, with Me all the time?
We will use words with many meanings as this writing is not only for you.
The only meaning you need to ponder with the recent dream image of a parabola is that there is a relationship. Always the two.
Burning brightly the candle needs the wax as well as the wick.
***
~February 20, 2008
Know you are becoming - not 'I need to be more self-contained', or I need to be more of a woman of God. Your focus in on what's next, what's still missing, or yet to deepen.
The diamondself is already inside you, already peaking out now and then. My crown is on your head too. You know more than you let on - you feel more than you share. You, carrier of My Word, hold both the sword and lamp. Obedient, bold, devoted, delicate.
You could write a story like Deb's. Your story. Yes, with oak tree and nature spirits and your imaginary friends. Now you know we held you as your family could not. This is true for most who heed The Calling. These stories, these personal histories will awaken the Truth for others to their stories - Sue was not an orphan, but a child of God. Some rise up and some succumb to the fall. Some, like Laura, feel the torture of the separation as a child, and some, like yourself, Annie, & Robin used beauty, nature and drugs to deaden this pain.
The torture is over. The becoming began years ago. You are steeped in light. You are in the river of letting go. Be in the part of your homework that is to enjoy relaxed! Enjoy this new generosity and spontaneity! Nothing has to change.
Me: But what about when melancholy, regret comes in?
Do a reality check. How fulfilling is it with others compared to this? Each time - do this!! It will break the shallow habit, pathology's hold, that something else is better than now. See how that works? Not children, or the beach, or a summer evening…
Only the expansive radiating pulse in your chest. Only being mINe.
***
~February 21, 2008
When you have My voice, your intention, beliefs, the wrong fear backwards, or in any of the ways you can be off - I can not go forward with you.
Me: I'm deeply sorry, I long to go forward. I miss the mornings when nothing comes because I'm off in my head or projects first.
You did not listen to me the other day, and now you have injured your right arm in a place that was weak and injured before. This hurts Me more than you - to have witnessed your, 'busting ahead anyway', ignoring My instructions - thinking it doesn't really matter if it's about you. - as if you don't matter. And, moreover, I need you to need your right arm. Challenging your successful medication to be a miracle is foolish and arrogant. You can not lead from a 'busting ahead' place, nor from a place that ignores your own needs. When are you going to factor yourself in here?
Me: Did you have a hand in my actually seeing all that snow slide off my roof? Then my hearing the rest in the dark quiet of my falling asleep? Feeling startled, then deeply comforted?
I had a hand in your heart. Both times you felt held and cared for. Everthing is OK. Your house is Ok because I am in it with you. You felr me in your relief. The signs, the synchronicities you experience are to become a way of life.
The mountain - you
Crumbles into the Sea of Me.
I am the sign on your doorpost,
And upon your heart.
I am the Lord your God.
***
~February 24, 2008
What are you waiting for?
You are in the midst and too often in 'a mist' of all you need. There is no test, or landmark, or special encounter. Being alone is not better than being social if you are not with Me. Find Me and bring Me everywhere.
Me: Will you guide everything today? Be with me everywhere?
Will you listen? Every moment? I am with you everyday and always. I love you. I want you. I need you. I want you to need me and love Me IN your wanting. You cannot just yearn without your need. Find Me when you are lost. You must be in your knowing of Me and then, like now, the guidance flows, 'just is'. You have been ignoring your lost place without Me. This is because it is so familiar to you.
Whether engaged or observing hold something in reserve. This is the connection with Me, the attunement with the link to Me.
Your connected times are alone. There, there is an alertness, this attunement with the physical as well - but not a give-away, or primal scanning. Can you feel the difference now? Can you be as you are when doing yoga or driving a car in the public? This is the difference.
***
~February 25, 2008
Love the seeking. If I awaken you to yourself and you can live that everywhere, you become soul, you won't struggle for the explanation of it. It's fine to struggle, the snake must struggle out of the old skin in order to grow. It is also possible to become, to unfurl as a flower opens. For you a piece of this is to forgo the past. Just leave it behind and walk away. You have found the way to do this, which is our sweet connection.
When you transfer My presence to the place of false safety, control, that your rules have provided, you will become the tingly aliveness you feel right now. The 'rules', the control, have been a damper over the not knowing place of becoming that you are now experiencing. When that feeling truly permeates the body it supersedes the frantic attempts of control that demand you to do something, anything, other than feel this expansion of self. This larger self demands less. It needs only to listen to Me, strengthening the connection by NOT doing. See how this works? It is akin to one peace marcher in front of an army tank. The machine stops. The fear and faith inside the heart of the one could not tolerate the mind chatter in that place of conviction.
You have an army tank in front of you called the world. Like a seductress of power, charm, being right, control it stops when you stop.
***
~February 28, 2008
The way I am being asked to write has changed again. Now when I sit, first thing in the morning, I'm often told what else to do, or when to sit again. Friday I was told to write on my 15 min. break at work. They are much shorter 'sessions'. It feels more unsettling. I am deeper in my not knowing of starting, stopping, and questioning my voice in it. Below is from Thursday, in 3 different sittings. I will use italics for Their words.
Can you tell me more about this place in me that want things to be easier for me?
"There are fractals of poison just as the pattern works for growth. The poison is the study of minutia - getting lost in details, complicating and what you call, 'not seeing the forest for the trees'. And you do this - yet you have willingly, quickly stepped back. The horror you feel in this behavior is great. The dwelling in shame is not. Recall our reference to stepping in regret as a shower, and coming out clean. It is time for that.
Exercise now. Write later. Bring the journal with you today.”
***
“We are changing the pushes and pulls exerted upon you - so you will move in a different direction.”
***
“Know that you know. Know that you notice. Know that you learn, inquisitive and receptive. You know you are not your pathology, your past, or a position. You know how to lean into Me, and you know how to listen. You notice what supports these things and are currently aware of what does not. What more could I want? Your laughter and joy to unfurl with an increase of the generosity of spirit! Do not allow shame to take you down. You have learned a lesson about generosity and simplicity - see how that works in you and be the True you that has been THAT woman and THAT girl.”